i’m sure you’ve seen my announcement about leaving the internet until i can be sure i’ll be safe around other people. while you are my best friend, this also applied to you, as things you do often do make me upset — not anything i would end a friendship over, but. i still want to work on my behavioral skills.

but i know that you get sad when i’m not around, so i drew you a little honomaki and made you this page you can interact with whenever you’re sad. or whenever you want to. i’ll update it whenever i can.

• i’m feeling down.
• how are you?
• i miss you!
• i need a funny story!
• what do i do that makes you upset?

remember: i love you. there is nothing i look forward to more than seeing you when you come to UNO.

i promise you i think of you every day.

what’s wrong?

• i’m suicidal
• my mom yelled at me
• i want to self harm

i beg of you, try to talk to someone. please. please, i am BEGGING you.

i know you think you don’t matter to your friends but i also know that DEEP DOWN you know that isn’t true. you KNOW you can talk to them. try to tear the wall down, tear the block down.

if you fear of guilt tripping your friends, simply phrase things like “hey, i need reassurance right now. i’m feeling really down.” this say they wont think you are guilting them in any way

don’t tell yourself “not to self harm” because you know that you know you shouldn’t. it isn’t easy to just tell yourself to stop doing something and to actually stop doing it.

you, instead, have to do something alternative. instead of telling yourself simply to stop, you must think, “what can i do instead of self harming?” the answers are infinite, you’ll see. there are cathartic ways of expressing how you feel that do not involve cutting yourself. for example, you can draw. but don’t think of it like just... drawing. don’t drawnfor anybody else. draw circles, draw lines, draw an emotion. draw an abstract way to feel. just do things until you’re distracted. read fanfiction. listen to a new album. just try alternatives.

i love you so much. i hate seeing you hurt, and i know you hate hurting yourself. so please... please try alternatives.

in our minds, time operates on a linear scale. but in reality, scientists have figured out that that is not true, and that everything you have experienced and the present is all happening at the same time.

which means while the past is always ocurring, always, the only thing that is unknown is the future.

which is where you are going: you’re going to finish your senior year of highschool and you’re going to go to COLLEGE where you can GET AWAY FROM HER. imagine a lifetime where you don’t have to speak to your emotionally abusive and gaslighting mother.

it sounds nice, doesn’t it?

well, right now is happening then — so just remember that. remember it isn’t too far away.

i’m very, very well! i needed to separate myself from all the drama. since you’re my best friend, i’ll tell you the real reason, please don’t tell anyone else. chinch shittalks me constantly, and i’m just sick of getting messages that say “what did you DO,” because the people involved asked me not to talk about it nor defend myself in any way. chinch not only shittalks me but all his followers do as well, and thus there is a widespread Shittalking about me... it’s... just so god damn STRESSFUL. it’s hard to think i’ll get better when every single day i get shittalked more.

but honestly, it hurts the most because i just get so mad at chinch for doing it and i can’t do anything about it—which is a good thing, really, because i shouldn’t talk shit on some 16 year old but you know. whatever. it just makes me realize how bad my anger issues really are. and how much i need help!

as of october 4th, i have a therapy appointment on october 5th with a real therapist instead of UNO’s counselors. so i will hopefully get the help i need!

i got a 100 on my most recent math test i think though so at least i have THAT going for me. you will probably have to take it next year so LETS GET THIS RBEAD its so easy i cant wait to bestow upon you my wealth of knowledge

• i want to defend you against chinch!

i wore a pikachu kigurumi to school and somebody asked me if i knew where the furry club was at UNO. i kind of died in real life, but it’s okay. i mean, like, no judgment of furries, but i can’t believe someone asked me if i was PART OF A FURRY CLUB.

• JKSJ,KDHJKDSDSOIDJKD
• that wasnt funny.

i miss you so much more than you realize, but you must know that there’s something i miss more than that: living a peaceful life where i could follow and be friends with anybody i wanted. it’s something i miss more than anything. i just want to be happy again.

there is nothing i want LESS than for you to do this. while i appreciate the thought, if you did, you would only be stirring the pot and thus erasing my progress in getting better. seriously, i appreciate it, but... because of you, i’ve realized that he is only sixteen, so i shouldn’t fault him so much for you know... wanting to start drama, wanting attention, etc. i do sincerely hope he grows out of it because that addiction cannot be good for one’s mental health (yes i know from experience.)

thank you so much . Inwould die for you.

im trying my BEST okay

in reality, it’s not Often. you don’t often make me upset. however, sometimes, you will repeat yourself over ans over and try to get me to include a joke inside something that i am trying to take seriously (my game and getting me to try and call it peoble place over and over) and i know you don’t realize but it is very... bothersome.

it also makes me more uncomfortable than i’d like to admit that all your friends hate me. i’m aware this is immature and something you can’t control, but these feelings of sadness for me are uncontrollable as well, and that is why i am seeking therapy. so that i can no longer feel this way, not just toards you, but to everyone.

please do not drop your friends over this. you would be absolutely miserable, i know, so.... please. Please don’t.